Even though I do not follow Buddhism, I still find the concept of “suffering” in Buddhist thought to be a very classical system of thinking—practical and surprisingly well suited to modern life.
When reading the book Awakening Mindfulness, as I encountered and came to understand “suffering,” I did not feel like I was studying religious doctrine or lofty philosophy. Instead, it felt as though someone was finally naming the psychological states that young people today frequently experience but often do not know how to articulate.
This piece of writing reflects what I have understood, contemplated, and synthesized. It does not carry a religious tone, but rather offers a perspective that helps us understand ourselves better and suffer less.
“Suffering” is not the same as hardship.
When hearing the word “suffering,” most of us immediately think of:
- Pain
- Poverty
- Misfortune
- Major life crises
But in Buddhist thought, suffering is not only about pain.
Suffering is a state of incompleteness and inner unease that arises when the human mind clings to things that are, by nature, always changing.
Therefore, you can absolutely:
- Have a stable job
- Have someone by your side
- Have a life that, from the outside, looks “nice”
…yet still feel inside:
- Exhausted
- Empty
- Restless
- As if something is always missing
That state is also suffering—just more subtle and harder to name.
“Pain of pain” refers to the suffering of worldly life.
“Pain of pain” is the most obvious form of suffering, closely tied to very ordinary aspects of life:
- Financial pressure
- Work-related stress
- Emotional wounds in relationships
- Illness, fatigue, insomnia
It is called “pain of pain” because it is suffering in and of itself—no further analysis is needed.
This is a kind of suffering everyone has experienced. And most importantly: there is nothing wrong with you for being in it.
“Suffering of impermanence” is the suffering caused by change and transience.
“Suffering of impermanence” arises when things that were once good are no longer the same:
- A relationship that gradually changes
- A job that no longer excites you
- Youth, energy, and physical appearance slowly declining
Not because these things are bad,
but because they do not last.
The suffering of impermanence reminds us of a very old yet always true reality:
Everything is impermanent.
And when we fail to accept that, suffering arises.
“Conditioned suffering” is the suffering created by one’s own mind.
This is the most subtle form of suffering, and also the one that exhausts modern people the most.
“Conditioned” here does not refer to external actions, but to the actions of the mind:
- Constant, nonstop thinking
- Self-blame
- Worry about the future
- Comparing yourself to others
- Replaying the same story in your head
You may not be facing any major crisis,
but your mind never truly rests.
That very stream of thoughts is what causes your suffering.
Modern people find it difficult to be happy because they do not yet understand “suffering.”
Not necessarily because they lack something,
but because they:
- Do not recognize what kind of suffering they are experiencing
- Identify themselves with their emotions
- Allow emotions to control their actions
As a result:
- Anger → saying things they later regret
- Sadness → hurting themselves
- Anxiety → losing control
Suffering starts small and gradually grows without us even noticing.
Observing “suffering”: what causes suffering dissolves.
In Awakening Mindfulness, there is one idea that resonated deeply with me:
When you observe in stillness, everything will dissolve on its own.
It may sound abstract, but it is actually quite easy to understand.
For example, anger is like a pile of fire.
Imagine this:
- Anger is a pile of fire
- Each negative thought → adds firewood
- Each exchange of words → adds gasoline
- Each time you replay the story → the fire burns bigger
When you lose control, you are continuously feeding fuel to the fire.
But if you:
- Stop
- Do not speak
- Do not think further
- Simply observe the anger that is present
Then what happens?
- The fire no longer has fuel.
- It cannot burn any bigger.
- And then… it burns itself out.
Not because you force it to stop,
but because you no longer feed it.
Observing is not avoidance.
Observing is not:
- Pretending to be fine
- Suppressing emotions
- Forcing positivity
Observing is:
- “Oh, this is anger.”
- Oh, this is sadness.”
- “Oh, this is unease.”
Just noticing—without judgment, without reaction.
At that point:
You are no longer the emotion.
You are the one who is seeing the emotion.
And that small distance is exactly what helps you suffer less.
About the book Awakening Mindfulness.
Awakening Mindfulness is not a book that teaches religious doctrine.
It is more like a gentle user’s guide to the mind—practical and applicable to everyday life.
However, its writing style can be somewhat complex and may not be truly suitable for first-time readers. This is a book that needs to be read slowly and reflected upon deeply, with a fairly substantial amount of content. You may want to consider this carefully before purchasing.
This article only touches on a very small part of the book, combined with my own reflections and expressed in my own language.
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Linkachu — someone who battled weight issues for nearly 20 years and successfully experimented with a method of eating fully and nutritiously while still losing weight, without exercising.
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